Submission Fail

When I see a post for an audition that I'm a ‘fit’ for, I get excited.  And if it is a paid gig - you better stand back.

The excitement seeps out of my fingers when I begin to type the submission. The 'Good Morning' or 'Dear Fill-in-name-here' cannot be typed fast enough.  My mind is yelling “faster fingers, faster!”. (That's what she said.) So a few typos are inevitable. But this is why God created spellchecker. 

But did you know that the great and almighty spellchecker does not review the subject line? No? Well, I found this tidbit of information out this morning … only after I hit the ‘send’ button.

So when my subject line stated 'A Mircal for Haven' instead of 'Miracle for Haven' I'm assuming the director is going to read it an think 'Oh what a cute typo! This actress must be really excited to submit for this role. Looks like she has some major spunk and personality! She doesn't even need to audition, give her the part!'

Right?

Actor Clique

I hated cliques in high school. The lunch room scared me. I have learned an audition room is an adult version of a high school lunch room.  At any given audition you should expect to see the following clique:

• 'Old Community Actor' clique
• Mandatory requirement for this group is you must be 50 or older.  Typically, they have been an active participant in their local community theater or church play. Don't be thrown off by their age, as they will show up to anything and everything - including a part that calls for a 15 year old ... in a torture-porn movie. 
• 'House Wife' clique
• This might be self explanatory, but in case you need help - these 'kept' women woke up one day (after their kids left for school), looked in the mirror (to examine their new face) and as their soap was playing in the background said to themselves 'Hey, I can do that' .
• 'College Hipster' clique
• Easy to spot, as their hipster clothing and slouched stance is a dead give-away. Usually have a friend or two who is a film student and played a role in their school project. Acting to them is often viewed as 'self expression'...that is until acting becomes too mainstream and they move on to a lesser known art - perhaps pottery.
• 'Acting Class' clique
• As much as it pains me to admit it, I am a card carrying member to this group. Walking into an audition is like walking into a scene study class, you know at least two people there, and conversation usually entails 'What do you think the scene objective is?', 'My beats and actions were totally off', 'So did you audition for that short-film about the introspective look into the life of unicorns?'
• 'Working Actor' clique
• In my mind these are the jocks and the cheerleaders of the audition lunch room. Walking in, you will notice them right away as they ooze with confidence and smell of sunshine. The good news? They are probably audition just to keep 'fresh' as they already landed a reoccurring role on a network sitcom *insert taped audience laughter here*

Lesson Learned

Auditioning for the first time always guarantees a unique experience. For me, I learned some invaluable life lessons:

1. Texas is hot.  Actors are dramatic.
2. When attending an open-call for a non-paid, non-studio, non-anything-that-comes-across-as-a-professional-film, expect to be greeted by 20+ other actors giving you a once-over judgment stare
3. If the open call is from 1:30 - 6:30... arrive at noon
4. Always bring a snack
5. Actors will yell and throw temper tantrums if they arrive first and not the first to sign in  (See Lesson 1)
6. In order to avoid small talk, keep your head down and headphones on (this can also come across as 'getting into character' and give you some mad acting props, so I see it as a win/win)