When I’m asked 'So how that acting thing going?' I quickly pray that a flock of birds fly into my head just so I don't have to respond.
Now, let me provide some context. This isn't because I am not thrilled that someone other than myself cares enough to ask (yet alone remember) about my acting thing, but because quite frankly, 9 out of 10 times there isn't anything to share. I’m not praying for the movie Birds to be recreated because I am protecting my pride (wait..what pride?). My efforts are to protect the poor soul who asked. I mean, they pushed aside all the important things going on their life to ask me about acting. I would imagine their internal dialogue that generated the initial ask went something like this:
‘Oh hey, there’s Sarah (she looks hot). That reminds me, I need to let her know I <got promoted > <had a baby><got hit by a meteor><met Michael Cane>. But wait, she acts. I bet she has made huge strides in her career and is on the fringe of stardom (good thing I met Michael Cane because I have some tips for her). But before I share about me, let me first ask about her.”
How disappointed would this person be to get the response ‘Oh…my acting thing. Yeah, well that’s going great. <awkward pause> In my acting class last week I was really able to articulate my character’s internal struggles of being a transvestite-cat-lover while also having a true passion for tango.’
A flock of birds hitting my head is so much more entertaining and enjoyable than hearing that.
I wish Acting was like being a good singer. Everyone loves a good singer. Don’t believe me? Fine. I’ll give you an example.
You are attending a dinner party (in my mind you are fancy), and at this party you are mingling with the guests. You are in the midst of pleasantries with one particular guest when it is discovered that the other person is a singer. As conversation around this talent continues, others in the room catch wind and join in the discussion (you rock at small talk). Soon the entire room is gathered around listening to The Singer's tales. Then, out of the blue someone yells 'Hey, I have this guitar here… we should jam!' (Hold it - if it is a fancy dinner party they might not use the words 'jam' so let me rephrase.) 'Pardon me, I see that the host has a baby grand piano, might I suggest a quick song to entertain these fine folks?' (better) The next thing you know your new best friend, The Singer is entertaining everyone with their mad skills.
Acting is more like being a bad singer.
Take the same situation just mentioned, but instead of an angelic like voice, you hear a combination of Rebecca Black and Ricky Martin. Suddenly the room is filled with a haze of awkwardness. You instantly reach to your pockets to make sure you have your keys, eye the door and plan your escape route. The same reaction occurs when someone utters the words ‘Oh, yes I act. Would you like me to do a quick monologue?’
Being a good actor is like being a horrible singer. Mention you act, people reach for their keys, eye the door and plan an escape route - you have to be prepared. Actors love a good monologue jam session.
A film teacher once recommended the book ' Acting in Film' by Michael Cane - giving the endorsement that this is the 'best book out there' for anyone intersted in becoming a better film actor. While he continued talking about the book I sat there trying to picture Michael Cane's face.
Then it hit me. He is the guy who played Scrooge in The Muppet Christmas Carol! (Fact: Best Christmas movie ever.)
After class, I purchased the book and read it from cover to cover. My teacher was right, this book provides a film actor with great words of wisdom and film acting advice (plus there is a DVD version!). I also realized that my point of reference for Michael Cane probably shouldn't be the Muppet's.
The book covers topics such as 'Characters', 'The Take - Close-ups and Continuity' and 'Voice, Sound, Lighting Movement'. But as much as these helped me in preparation for class, auditions and for the one day where I am actually cast in a role, there was a chapter that felt strangely out of place.
Now keep in mind, this book is usually recommended to actors through a class, teacher, friend - actors who are just starting out or trying to become better at what they do - someone like me. So picture if you will that you are this person. You have now come to the last chapter. Your mind is filled with thoughts like: 'Wow - so glad I'm learning this now so I can nail that audition' or 'This is great direction for my upcoming scene' and 'No wonder Michael Cane rocked the Muppet's!'. (Ok, so the last one was probably just me. But you get the point.) And then you turn the page for the last chapter, and see the title called:
'On Being a Star'
I'll pause for the irony of that to sink in.
Before even reading this part of the book I quickly made two assumptions. First, Michael Cane feels that only 'star type' actors are reading his book thus the necessity for this section. Or, he feels that his words of wisdom can make ANYONE a star, so you must prepare now on how best to handle your stardom.
I can't accurately articulate my reactions while reading this, so below I have listed the tidbits (excerpts from the book) that I plan on keeping with me - through my obvious rise to fame:
- 'Temperament usually comes from insecurity. Real stars aren't insecure.'
- 'Fan mail is important, too (and you can usually write off the expenses). I don't personally answer every letter because that would be impossible. But I do sign ever photograph - I don't have a secretary who fakes my signature.'
- '...when you are the leading man, you're always the one who gets sent to get the leading lady out of the dressing room if she won't come...She's probably still in there because her hair's not right, or she's not too keen on the director. Very few leading ladies have to get the leading man out of the dressing room.'
- 'Hollywood is divided up socially into the A Team, the B Team, the C Team, and the Fun Team...Those people (the A Team) don't mix with the B Team or the C Team for the simple reason that they don't want to be asked for jobs. But they do mix with the Fun Team. I'm in the Fun Team.'
