"Now I'll never be a teen model."

I tend to get anxious with photo shoots.  I'm not really sure where that comes from  - perhaps it's due to all the Olan Mills sessions I had as a child (Thanks Mom and Dad).  But I over analyze everything - my hair, my makeup, the wardrobe - I spend a ridiculous amount of time making sure everything is just 'right'.

Recently I took some new photos that were to serve as my new head shot and 'lifestyle' look. The photographer I used is very professional and well connected in the acting/modeling scene in Dallas and LA.  All these new elements contributed to my anxiety level being at an all time high. 

Prior to the shoot the photographer asked to see some recent photos. After sending some over, I receive back notes: “Sarah your tongue shows in all of your pictures. Make sure to work on that before our session.” So I added ‘smiling practice’ to my to-do list. Confidence Level: 90%

The photo shoot day arrives. I have practiced my tongue-free smile, I have fabulously styled wardrobe options, a hair and make-up guy is set up, and I took the day off of work so I wasn’t rushed.  Confidence level: 94% 

We start shooting. Almost automatically the photographer points out “Sarah, your right eye is lazy.  Can you try to open it more?” My mind freezes. How in the heck do I open one eye more than the other?  And how have I not noticed that I have a lazy eye?! Confidence level: 65%

Shooting continues. As we transition into the lifestyle shots, the photographer moves up the skirt I am wearing, saying “You look skinnier if the skirt is higher.” So now an already short skirt has been pulled up so I can look ‘more skinny’ and now my fu-fu is on display (insert inappropriate ‘hope that doesn’t show’ joke here). Confidence level: 42%

The shoot is almost over.  As I am posing for my lifestyle shots (oxymoron anyone?) the wind blows and my hair gets stuck in my lip-gloss.  I try to loosen the hair with my mouth to which the photographer says “Sarah, can you work on not making awkward looks with your face?”.  Confidence level:  21.3%


The shoot ends.

As I pack up my clothes, I reflect on the day and realize that I was never meant to be a model. That is unless a role calls for a lazy eye, tongue showing, awkward face making, pseudo skinny model.  If that’s the case, I got that locked down!